Thursday, October 24, 2013

The Meat Addict

     The subject of this particular case has been receiving a new form of treatment - culinary therapy. He is watchfully observed in a carefully monitored kitchen, set up as to not be too intrusive or frightening, and he is aided by our charming orderlies who do most of the cooking, and certainly all of the chopping and cutting…

Figure 5.1 - ____ _____ Hospital's culinary therapy kitchen

However, he has made progress, and with help has been preparing all manner of pies and cakes and cookies. Italian cuisine? Not yet, but he hopes with the right dosage of psychiatric medication and therapeutic exposure that he’ll once again be able eat or cook the occasional lasagna or plate of spaghetti. Pizza? May be too soon to tell…

Figure 5.2 - The logo for Giuseppe's Pizza Pies

The Meat Addict
     Enter two ghouls, a host of missing stoolpigeons and a pizza parlor. A pizza parlor whose specialty was a meaty, gristly and greasy monstrosity called the Meat Addict. A thick crusted pizza topped with pepperoni, salami, meatballs, Polish sausage, hamburger, chorizo, prosciutto, bacon as well as Canadian bacon (so as to not neglect our friends to the north), anchovies and a special house mortadella sausage.
     Human corpses can be such a nuisance for those in that profession – that particular sort of life, which is to say, the unglamorous lower rung of errand boys, psychopaths, disposable gofers and lowlifes who do the lion’s share of dirty work for the mob. Not made members certainly – just the wannabes, the non-Sicilians, the petty thieves and glorified serial killers who inhabit a shadowy netherworld rampant with chaos and murder.
     Disposing of a corpse, or corpses, is a rather gruesome task - methods range from decapitation to cremation to submersion in a body of water (just remember to puncture the lungs and stomach lest your victim float). Our ghouls preferred a gastronomic approach – cheerfully grinding up their victims and adding them to the house mortadella sausage.

Figure 5.3 - Another example of highly sought after "murderabilia", a pizza box allegedly from Giuseppe's Pizza Pies
     This was the narrative given to me by the stepson of a union organizer in a Brooklyn working class neighborhood well known for both its pizza and its organized crime. I can say our story as it was told does not end well for our would-be chefs – as soon as their horrified employers found out about their special ingredient the duo were promptly ordered to be killed and swiftly disappeared.
     As to where they are or are not today is anyone’s guess. Likely rubbed out, murdered just as the people they themselves murdered. Another possibility is that they simply fled – working at a sleepy, unsuspecting pizza parlor in some sleepy, unsuspecting town or city such as your own. Please, do enjoy your next pizza pie.

Figure 5.4 - A pizza pie not unlike the notorious "Meat Addict"
     A rather traumatic experience for the poor stepson of the story – oh, I did neglect to mention that he pumped many a greasy quarter into Space Violators II and Polybius at Giuseppe’s game room, and was an avid enthusiast of the Meat Addict, especially its mortadella sausage, until its special ingredient was revealed. A minor tragedy, and yet a menu, which allegedly came from the alleged establishment, does make me hungry… 

Figure 5.5 - A menu for Giuseppe's Pizza Pies

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