14 points if you actually did read the magazine/review before submitting
18 points if the rejection has a request to like their Facebook or follow their Twitter
30 points if the rejection letter arrives an entire year after the original submission
8 points if the rejection letter contains a sentence written in passive voice
19 points if you didn't actually simultaneously submit elsewhere
42 points if you specifically wrote your story for that particular anthology/magazine
11 points if the rejecting editor has a goatee
-10 points if the rejection actually contains genuine constructive criticism
16 points if the rejection letter contains multiple sentences written in passive voice
25 points if you receive a personal (not automated) chiding for not following an arcane submission requirement
14 points if you receive the exact same copied and pasted rejection a second time
40 points if you didn't even realize a story you long since gave up on was still "in consideration"
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