tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80719027439459383282024-02-21T11:18:43.169-06:00Blog de BorgiaTales of Madness and RhodesiaChuck Borgiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08083381301959708304noreply@blogger.comBlogger103125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8071902743945938328.post-24393302202187521852014-06-27T19:59:00.000-05:002014-06-27T19:59:02.857-05:00Nights of Montreal<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/37/Montreal_night_view.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="115" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/37/Montreal_night_view.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;">It was a pleasant April afternoon
of raspberry ice cream dollops and cancerous polyps, or of sweets from Spain
and candy canes spoiled with nicotine stains from the damned or deranged. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;">The
air floated with a spring-like melody of screaming banshees infested with
fleas, and I could not help but quaff the pleasant aroma of spring showers,
foul breath, and fouler whiskey sours. I speak, of course, of Montreal; that
haven of habitants and nonchalance, or of gorgeous girls and repetitive grunts.
</span></span>
Chuck Borgiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08083381301959708304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8071902743945938328.post-18381464968820110552014-04-08T23:31:00.001-05:002014-04-08T23:37:14.193-05:00An Excerpt from The Book of Esoteric Demonology by Pierre LeClercq, Vol. II<a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/ac/Gevaudanwolf.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="260" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/ac/Gevaudanwolf.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i> </i></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i>Lupus in fabula</i></span></span><span style="font-family: "Courier New";"> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Bawon Garou is an
entity not to be visited or conjured by any white man, much less non-Haitian.
The vodou lwa are a complicated sort of species, temperamental but generally
inviting to those who ultimately seek to serve them. This is true especially of
the Rada lwa, and to a far lesser extent the Petwo lwa. There are other lwa who
will accomodate only those of a certain ancestral lineage, or those certain
members of established societies.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">In a miniscule minority exist a category of
lwa in a far darker realm – not entirely evil, per se, but certainly worth
avoiding by all but the most unscrupulous practitioners and underground
societies.</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">That being said, the
recreational vodouisant has no business contacting or working with Bawon Garou.
Garou is not a demon, far from it, and yet his dangerous and hazardous nature
begs his inclusion in this demonological collection. Bawon Garou is perhaps
best known due to his association with a murderous lycanthropy cult that
existed in Haiti in the 19<sup>th</sup> century – a cult associated with werewolfism,
an arcane subtype of magick that has been largely stagnant since the Dark Ages.
Bawon Garou no doubt materialized out of esoteric European occultist practices
involving lycanthropism introduced by the French to the Haiti.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Bawon Garou is a
twisted lwa of the graveyard, a wolf spirit, or, perhaps more appropriately, a
spirit containing and embodying both the elements and spirit of a man and wolf.
He is to be summoned only in situations in which the practitioner seeks to
become a wolf, or a wolf man. Like most vodou lwa, he is summoned and given
offerings via an altar – preferably containing wolf related items. Some altars
have made use of images of Lon Chaney, Jr. in <i><span style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Wolf Man</span></i>, while others<span style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </span>have
included Norse fetish Fenrir items and amulets from Scandinavian mythology <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">His colors have long been disputed – some
suggest red and black, while others prefer strictly black. If one is to make an
offering to Bawon Garou, it should be of flesh and bone - he will only accept
animal sacrifices. As per the European magick tradition, the most preferable
time for a ritual is, of course, the night of a full moon. If you are to honor
Bawon Garou, be careful that no other vodou altars exist in your home as his presence
is detested by most of the lwa.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">So-called European
Satanic rituals are preferred to more traditional vodou rituals even though
Bawon Garou is known to despise whites. His origin has been speculated, but is
said to be the spirit of a French plantation owner who righted his wrongs and
manifested the form of the man-wolf during the Haitian Revolution to mutilate
and mangle the overseers of mistreated slaves.</span> </div>
</span>Chuck Borgiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08083381301959708304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8071902743945938328.post-18756551628470736202014-04-03T02:54:00.000-05:002014-04-08T23:22:16.214-05:00An Excerpt from The Book of Esoteric Demonology by Pierre LeClercq, Vol. I<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><span style="line-height: 115%;">I present a mere snippet from a book detailing the uniquely occultist
paradigm of Pierre LeClercq, a magus and conjurer of the darkest variety…</span></i></span></span><br />
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c5/Archimedean_spiral.svg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c5/Archimedean_spiral.svg" height="295" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><span lang="EN">Nemo me impune lacessit</span></i></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">There is a demon known as Baptath, colloquially known as the “Righter
of Wrongs” or “Great Deceptor”, who is conjured and evoked via the Archimedian
spiral, and is associated with alcohol. There are several variations upon his
symbol but to the uninitiated, a simple Archimedian spiral is not only
preferable but highly advised. </span></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Baptath will suffer the intended no impunity. Indeed, Baptath is
as ancient as primordial man’s own need for revenge, and should not be
approached for trivial matters. In cases of exceptional obnoxiousness and
abhorrent behavior that demand an equally exceptionally obnoxious and abhorrent retribution,
a practitioner will consume alcohol, cast a circle and recite the following
incantation:</span></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">You and I and thee,</span></span></span></i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">The bastards, the bastions or the royal we,</span></span></span></i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Do declare and inspire Lucifer’s empire,</span></span></span></i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">As we embrace and embody the doubted and dire.</span></span></span></i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Thou knowest the recipient of my curse,</span></span></span></i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">And hope you shall revenge for my recourse.</span></span></span></i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Baptath, be a host to my skin,</span></span></span></i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Envelope my flesh and compound my sin.</span></span></span></i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Baptath, play host to my desire,</span></span></span></i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">For you are the sire of loathing and ire.</span></span></span></i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Baptath, the fallen angel of the drunk and binger,</span></span></span></i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Remain my primary and only revenger.</span></span></span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">At this point a practitioner will verbally state his complaint
with the intended. After the successful execution of revenge the magician will
supply Baptath with an offering of wine, spirits, or beer – the amount
dependent upon the gravity of the request.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Baptath, like most entities, is not fond of evocation but will
appear in physical form. He possesses the head of a goat and the body of a wolf,
and is notorious for his insistence on pomp and circumstance. He will expect a
royal reception - plentiful offerings and flattery – as payment for his manifestation.</span></span></span></div>
Chuck Borgiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08083381301959708304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8071902743945938328.post-42948869046818995472014-03-10T21:32:00.000-05:002014-03-10T21:32:44.308-05:00Fuller K. LaRouche – The Demonic Dictator of a Dystopic Diocese<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/da/Official_guide_to_the_Alaska-Yukon-Pacific_Exposition_-_Seattle,_Washington,_June_1_to_October_16,_1909_-_Page_55.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/da/Official_guide_to_the_Alaska-Yukon-Pacific_Exposition_-_Seattle,_Washington,_June_1_to_October_16,_1909_-_Page_55.jpg" width="218" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;">In his trademarked beret and poncho, Fuller K. LaRouche embodies
the contemporary sexual guerilla – a narcissistic, masochistic conquistador of
suppressed desires. LaRouche – the nearly autistic partisan of this
generation’s suburban milieu – has enlightened Brooklyn (and displaced more
than a few natives) with his newest designs in the depraved – <i>Human Ant Farm.</i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;">LaRouche has broken the mold for the art show in kidnapping a
herd of genuine Mongolian tribesmen and bringing them to Western civilization –
only to force them to coexist in a commune with bourgeoisie performance artists
behind a two way mirror (all to the delight and dismay of passerbys). </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;">LaRouche,
the clown pope of the perpetually offended, skirts and rejects the controversy stemming
from this human trafficking incident by rightfully defending his work as an
obtuse exercise in bimodalism – which is to say, a gruesome
compare and contrast between the metaphysical frustration and oblivion of both Central
Asian nomads and contemporary American artists.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;">The result is simply, and unadulteratedly, outstanding. Although
this neo-Dadaist human zoo has nearly resulted in several homicides and a
decapitation, LaRouche plans on not only seeing the exhibit through for the duration
of the spring, but also on abducting another indigenous tribe for a similar
exhibit in Berlin which will feature mimes and amputee circus performers.</span></span></div>
Chuck Borgiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08083381301959708304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8071902743945938328.post-83536438346454499102014-03-06T00:03:00.000-06:002014-03-06T00:06:48.658-06:00Count Drunkula and the 3-Dimensional Wolf Boy<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/59/Brainthatwouldntdie_film_poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/59/Brainthatwouldntdie_film_poster.jpg" width="243" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This October - that beloved season of witching, warlocking and werewolving -
I am delighted to present another guest blogger who will present five tales of
the terrifying. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Unfortunately it will not be the good Dr. von Gastly, who is
undergoing both an extensive medical license review and a nasty malpractice
suit due to his rather, ahem, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">unconventional
</i>techniques.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Count Drunkula and his codependent sidekick, the 3-Dimensional
Wolf Boy, but mostly Count Drunkula, will unveil a litany of lewd and
lascivious cinema – a marathon, if you will, of obscure films no longer extant
and lost to history. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The B-movie horror host and his assistant, formerly of KXFP in
Kenosha, Wisconsin – were recently paroled for charges stemming from an
incident back in Halloween, 1981. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/05/I-was-teenage-frankenstein.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/05/I-was-teenage-frankenstein.jpg" width="204" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The duo, having been terminated from their positions as
the resident masters of ceremonies after the cancellation of Kenosha’s own <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Late Nite Horror Hijinks</i> - hijacked the
KXFP airwaves on October 31<sup>st</sup>, 1981 for a 17 hour unsolicited horror
marathon that ultimately ended in a standoff and shootout with the Wisconsin State
Police.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Who better to host a list of the most unnatural and unnerving
films never known to general audiences than this deranged duo? This All Hallow’s
Eve prepare for another installment of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Tales
of the Mad and the Macabre</i>.</span></div>
Chuck Borgiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08083381301959708304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8071902743945938328.post-35453935548530207822014-03-05T23:24:00.000-06:002014-03-05T23:24:30.754-06:00That Damned Goat<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu8KeKYyKfuIHHe-NyNxVWd6oFAFT8gldaAnN_mknO_kzmdxDRtGfKuXbfJowciY_b5LkmhZbM_5TJfWdIKnt9NU785acx5KPoduc7YN4NrYxdcC5oX32jAF_06JNStxOWAdL0CtYupvw/s1600/thatdamnedgoat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu8KeKYyKfuIHHe-NyNxVWd6oFAFT8gldaAnN_mknO_kzmdxDRtGfKuXbfJowciY_b5LkmhZbM_5TJfWdIKnt9NU785acx5KPoduc7YN4NrYxdcC5oX32jAF_06JNStxOWAdL0CtYupvw/s1600/thatdamnedgoat.jpg" height="309" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">My latest dalliance with the demonic, <i>That Damned Goat</i>, appears in the February 23rd, 2014 edition of <i><a href="http://www.schlock.co.uk/" target="_blank">Schlock!</a>.</i></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">I have yet to find a creditable online vendor willing to shill my merchandise; including but not limited to various trinkets of my travels such as shrunken heads</span></span>, genuine hoodoo dolls, and discounted freak show paraphernalia.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">However, you can buy a <a href="http://470106.spreadshirt.com/" target="_blank">t-shirt</a> containing the helpful <i>Damned Goat</i> infographic/flow chart above - <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puffery" target="_blank">guaranteed</a> to confound and horrify your friends and employer.</span></span>Chuck Borgiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08083381301959708304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8071902743945938328.post-72642500384906910882014-02-04T01:45:00.001-06:002014-04-08T23:22:46.038-05:00Fuller K. LaRouche - Female Ejaculation in a Mobile Home<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/47/Mobile_Home.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/47/Mobile_Home.JPG" width="320" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">The exquisite demon child, Fuller K. LaRouche, has again shocked
the censors and uprooted the bourgeoisie with an arthouse cinema classic for
our current malaise – <i>Female Ejaculation
in a Mobile Home</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">LaRouche, in his cosmic wisdom (and with significant funding
from the nearly insolvent Portuguese government) has crafted a wonderful story
of a racist Wyoming bank teller who drowns her children, abandons her husband,
and finds a true feminist calling in the former Soviet Republic as a wet nurse.
Upon arriving in a primitive commune and being forced to marathon nurse hundreds
of babes, our proud heroine elopes with a mustachioed yet sensitive police
captain cum women’s rights activist, who escorts her to Turkey. After their arrival in Ankara, the police captain abandons
her for his own calling in competitive beard growing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">This Medean tale of tragedy will not be found in your local,
corporate, mouth-breathing multiplex – nay, LaRouche would never sully his
reputation as an artistic outsider by creating a film that elicited
entertainment and joy rather than guilt, confusion, and generalized alienation.</span></div>
Chuck Borgiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08083381301959708304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8071902743945938328.post-86585026210488384422013-12-24T16:30:00.001-06:002013-12-24T16:30:42.208-06:00Worms in the Ear (Update)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHxZqRbMK4m1nYIn9Atb203zRCOLztiavPaZnH8-8fYuJLCMAx-tbn3AJ8cuZWR7CauEAWZY5o7iG55J2w_acX78OPrJ6RqEeElJuPBJrZ2AcX-bJo3WOehzFTkQPV-0Mf9RHdsAE0C5s/s1600/under+the+bed.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHxZqRbMK4m1nYIn9Atb203zRCOLztiavPaZnH8-8fYuJLCMAx-tbn3AJ8cuZWR7CauEAWZY5o7iG55J2w_acX78OPrJ6RqEeElJuPBJrZ2AcX-bJo3WOehzFTkQPV-0Mf9RHdsAE0C5s/s320/under+the+bed.jpg" width="247" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">My latest prose tale of the terrifying, <i>Worms in the Ear</i>, will appear in the January 2014 issue of <a href="http://www.fictionmagazines.com/magazines/underthebed/" target="_blank"><i>Under the Bed</i></a>.</span></span>Chuck Borgiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08083381301959708304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8071902743945938328.post-79565247125306314422013-12-09T02:30:00.000-06:002013-12-09T02:30:18.404-06:00Fuller K. LaRouche – The Clown Vagabond of Vaginal Irritation <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4b/Baby-back_ribs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4b/Baby-back_ribs.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">Fuller K. LaRouche; the performance artist, the fully functioning
dope fiend and the matador. <span></span>Fuller K.
LaRouche; the agent provocateur, the published writer and <i>the human being</i>.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">Fuller K. LaRouche, <i>the
artist</i>, again assaults America’s Puritan conscience with his illicit illustrations
in pop culture evisceration – namely his seminal piece on post-neorealist
feminism and hip hop as interpreted by the urban artisanal set - the subtly
titled <i>Pork Ribs in my Vagina</i>. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">Curated by the Master himself and interpreted by a coven of
upper middle class white Midwestern witch transplants to Brooklyn, <i>Pork Ribs in my Vagina</i> is a devious sort
of revolution in the guise of the “art show”, a veritable celebration of both the
vagina and comfort food and Americana as all three collide both literally and
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">Fuller K. LaRouche, the lunatic shaman and post-apocalyptic
poet has once again realigned the universe – <i>Pork Ribs in my Vagina</i> will forever redefine the way in which our
society interprets the penetration of our species’ most valued organ. <span> </span><span> </span></span></span></div>
Chuck Borgiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08083381301959708304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8071902743945938328.post-13711002178582408062013-12-03T02:40:00.000-06:002013-12-03T03:02:16.933-06:00The Rejection Letter Game<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">To the victims of slush pile jockeys and sadistic editors worldwide...Never forget...</span></span><br />
<br />
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ELh9PqWAfcw/T0O6JkZZjsI/AAAAAAAAXEQ/d6ZJMdvcHMk/w500/ctrl-v.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ELh9PqWAfcw/T0O6JkZZjsI/AAAAAAAAXEQ/d6ZJMdvcHMk/w500/ctrl-v.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">14 points if you actually did read the magazine/review before submitting </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">18 points if the rejection has a request to like their Facebook or follow their Twitter </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">30 points if the rejection letter arrives an entire year after the original submission</span></span> </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">8 points if the rejection letter contains a sentence written in passive voice </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">19 points if you didn't actually simultaneously submit elsewhere </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">42 points if you specifically wrote your story for that particular anthology/magazine</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">11 points if the rejecting editor has a goatee</span></span> </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">-10 points if the rejection actually contains genuine constructive criticism</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">16 points if the rejection letter contains multiple sentences written in passive voice </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">25 points if you receive a personal (not automated) chiding for not following an arcane submission requirement</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">14 points if you receive the exact same copied and pasted rejection a second time</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">40 points if you didn't even realize a story you long since gave up on was still "in consideration"</span></span>Chuck Borgiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08083381301959708304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8071902743945938328.post-84568449851593098762013-11-30T23:32:00.000-06:002013-12-09T02:38:03.412-06:00The Year's Best Schlock! Horror 2013<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51b-ziMpi5L._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51b-ziMpi5L._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">In case your craving to consume has not yet been sated, Gavin Chappell of <a href="http://www.schlock.co.uk/" target="_blank">Schlock!</a> has assembled another gang of motley misfits and miscreants for <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Years-Best-Schlock-Horror-2013/dp/1493758829/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1385875597&sr=8-1" target="_blank">The Year's Best Schlock! Horror 2013</a>. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">My despotic tale of datura and desire, <i>Mr. Baron Samedi</i>, is included. </span></span><br />
<br />
<br />Chuck Borgiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08083381301959708304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8071902743945938328.post-86694477908996978412013-11-30T00:55:00.000-06:002013-11-30T00:58:05.996-06:00Dinner Parties, Sino-Indian Relations and Bulgarian Prostitutes - Notes from a Traveler<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/04/Occitan_and_French_language_signs_in_Toulouse.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/04/Occitan_and_French_language_signs_in_Toulouse.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;">In a recent edition of <i>Notes</i>
I indicated my staunch refusal to learn the most basic phrases in foreign
languages – however this is not entirely true. </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;">Abroad, amongst foreigners, I refuse to speak anything other
than English but at home, amongst polite company, I am given to the occasional quotation,
clever turn of phrase or <i>et patati et
patata</i> documenting, my, if you will, <i>touha
cestovatelská. </i></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;">I have frequently used the aformentioned phrases although not accurately, as I do not know what they mean.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;">I would recommend all self-respecting travelers to crash a dinner
party, family reunion or baby shower in order to corner a vulnerable guest and establish
your inherent authority by relaying tales of travel (preferably to Europe)
- salted and peppered, of course, with enchanting local vocabulary...</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;"> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/82/2007-11-22_Bear_blowing_bubble.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/82/2007-11-22_Bear_blowing_bubble.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">The most family friendly of the two results for "blow up doll" on Wikimedia Commons</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;">Through the years I have entertained a long, strange and frequently
dangerous game of one-upmanship with Ricky Rakubian, a charming rogue whom I consider
the sub-continental Chuck Borgia.</span></span><br />
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;">As competing playboys, adventurers and generalized international
misfits our long and storied rivalry started as mere schoolboy shenanigans but
peaked in 1973 whenever a blow up doll prank nearly resulted in a second
Sino-Indian War... </span></span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/98/Clipox.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/98/Clipox.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;">The 14th result for "clip joint" on Wikimedia Commons. Sexual pleasure mechanism, marijuana paraphernalia or German laboratory equipment - you be the judge</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;"></span><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I cut my teeth in the <i>Yakuza</i>
clip joints of Kabukichō, and as such have become something of a consultant for
several well-known organized criminal organizations in the management of quasi-illegal fleshpots and titty bars from Chongquing to Burger King.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;">For the occasional exotic concubine, I, of course, rely upon the
services of my resident procurer, Sven Svensen of the Stockholm Natural History
Museum – however I understand that the casual tourist is not able to afford the monthly
charges of a licensed, reliable and experienced Swedish procurer.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;">I would suggest caution in approaching the dive bars just a hop,
skip and a jump away from the touristy parts of Western European cities – if the
watered down cocktail and Russian bouncers aren’t enough to warrant a red flag,
the Bulgarian and North African beauties who show an immediate and unrealistic
interest in you should be...</span></span></div>
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Chuck Borgiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08083381301959708304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8071902743945938328.post-26163785341215630732013-11-29T22:42:00.000-06:002013-11-29T22:42:04.805-06:00Worms in the Ear<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<img border="0" height="262" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/bf/Gummi_worms.jpg" width="320" /></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">My latest exercise in the eldritch, <i>Worms in the Ear</i>, will appear in an upcoming edition of <i><a href="http://www.fictionmagazines.com/magazines/underthebed/" target="_blank">Under the Bed</a> </i>magazine.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"></span><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">If, like me, you enjoy the holiday season but are not willing to rabbit punch the elderly or trample strangers for the latest <i>Cabbage Patch Kid</i>, take note - each issue is available to be purchased in the safety and security of your own home on your Nook or Kindle for just $3.99. </span></span><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUD_WHQayONu2eI1ZTi5hLb4LUz1nOtzd-tOiUDtNg9t-jCUc4fmFqWm9rZ-_2zZnlCDelHWhNSvfP_ZYG_mJlThyphenhyphencZN6JhG_Mqi0wijk2CsKh05TBVjVtGeonwq3v7PuknPD7SjSVZSo/s1600/trample.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="153" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUD_WHQayONu2eI1ZTi5hLb4LUz1nOtzd-tOiUDtNg9t-jCUc4fmFqWm9rZ-_2zZnlCDelHWhNSvfP_ZYG_mJlThyphenhyphencZN6JhG_Mqi0wijk2CsKh05TBVjVtGeonwq3v7PuknPD7SjSVZSo/s320/trample.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;">The third search result for "trample" on Wikipedia</span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"></span>Chuck Borgiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08083381301959708304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8071902743945938328.post-88797397322502329482013-11-24T23:14:00.000-06:002013-11-30T01:00:27.535-06:00Improvised Bludgeons, Expired Condoms and the British Broadcasting Corporation - Notes from a Traveler<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">International alcoholics, take note - polite society would
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than vouch for its efficacy as an improvised bludgeon…</span></span></div>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">If you find yourself coming-to in a foreign land hungover
off a nasty drugging (whether unsolicited or self-administered) you likely will
have lost items including but not limited to money, shoes, passports and visas.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">As your local embassy will be of little use, I would personally recommend the lost art of pick-pocketing
on public transit – namely, the tried and true “newspaper method” in which a
carefully positioned paper (preferably <i>The
Sun </i>or its local equivalent) obscures hands roving through your neighbors’
pockets and purses. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">I recently liberated (and later utilized) a book of
matches, Kč 700, a piece of butterscotch hard candy and an expired condom from the
coat of a vulgar Belgian on the tramvaj in Prague using this technique...</span></span></div>
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</span></span><br />
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<br /></div>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">The personal ad columns have long since been a perverse
frontier inhabited by those sad and lonely hearts who dare to dream. And yet,
as I recently found after some measure of embarrassment, “BBC” as found in the
personals <i>does not</i> stand for “British
Broadcasting Corporation”...</span></span>
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Chuck Borgiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08083381301959708304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8071902743945938328.post-85352209848588351902013-11-06T22:35:00.001-06:002013-11-06T22:35:56.860-06:00Missed Connections<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">This is a Missed Connections ad by Anonymous, presumably a 35 year-old woman from Oklahoma City, haunted by her former lover, Carlos. I present <i>"Carlos, I'm giving up the ghost"</i> in the interest of saving this bit of found prose poetry from the Craigslist dung heap of oblivion.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0y6bGy77SPsejHccP4bugxaqCSyrbwkA0P9lsCE3X99KFXLJ0DYIiHzW3Ejr2OR8aEDKqW_ipFh_EcDDmHG_gu8oV_SxwrZbqH0aPSNQTJGQ9UPecW0vvarD6KnFGq1BUOkHrXRP4w2M/s1600/Couple_with_a_spirit_in_their_car_(8702358128).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="236" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0y6bGy77SPsejHccP4bugxaqCSyrbwkA0P9lsCE3X99KFXLJ0DYIiHzW3Ejr2OR8aEDKqW_ipFh_EcDDmHG_gu8oV_SxwrZbqH0aPSNQTJGQ9UPecW0vvarD6KnFGq1BUOkHrXRP4w2M/s320/Couple_with_a_spirit_in_their_car_(8702358128).jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"></span><b>Carlos, I'm giving up the ghost. - w4m - 35 (oklahoma city)</b> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />The banana project was not enough to lure you in, and I want to be sad. I want to conclude something more than you giving up on the dream. My best guesses are as follows:<br /><br />Perhaps you met an untimely doom via a boa constrictor, after he had smothered you in ketchup.<br /><br />Perhaps you were found out by an exorcist, or a ghost hunter. I'm wondering if they have your voice on tape somewhere, I'd like to hear the gurgle and scratch against the back drop of white noise.<br /><br />Perhaps you were eaten by a plump man on an elevator, after he had mistaken you for a cookie.<br /><br />I feel as though it always goes back to the state of cookies, the shape of cookies. Shapes of all things.<br /><br />It's highly likely you were bored by my previous letters, and allowed Horatio to devour you. His mouth was always a prison, I am not sure how well of an escape plan that would be. The halls are too quiet without you, my teeth hurt from too much sugar. I will start cursing the sky in your name, only to have forgotten the curse songs minutes later. After all, it is a fast food, give me candy, now now now type of world.<br /><br />My universe is shaped like a broken wine bottle, and defending it seems useless. I find myself getting letters from women who hope I will call them Carlos, or men who desire me to treat them like a dirty muse. I am not sure what that even means, I am not much of a sadist, and dirty? Dirty things like mules, and goats tend to make me seek solace in warm water. I will not throw tomatoes at anyone while they are tied to an oven.<br /><br />I keep washing my eyes, and hands hoping to rid myself of your memory. I must be a proper masochist, a longing marionette. I have done all of this dangling by myself, written songs about tad poles in remembrance of you. My nostrils caught the smell of bourbon, and it made me wonder how you had met your end. Poe would be proud, I thought. Or he would be disappointed, let us hope your story was not like one of his terrible poems. We all have terrible poems. Sometimes we are the terrible poems.<br /><br />I have never stolen kisses, or danced to acid jazz. I have died a thousand times to the echo in her voice, every day is a little death.<br /><br />I dreamed of a wolf on my front porch, though I do not really have a front porch. He sat splinters in his paws, jaw agape. He reminded me of nights I have spent wondering, determined to sleep thirty minutes less. I have run out of clever ideas, I do not know where you have gone or why. I presume you have found another woman to haunt, to send your suave prose to.<br /><br />I hope wherever you have gone, the ether is lovely this time of year.<br /><br />I will continue to write letters, until I have run out of ridiculous things to wonder about. This will surely be once I am dead-and-gone. What is death anyway? Just a little weight loss.</span>Chuck Borgiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08083381301959708304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8071902743945938328.post-51740061949297133752013-10-30T19:33:00.000-05:002013-10-30T19:36:47.299-05:00The Tickler<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://cdn.theatlantic.com/static/mt/assets/culture_test/banner_halloween%20costumes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="156" src="http://cdn.theatlantic.com/static/mt/assets/culture_test/banner_halloween%20costumes.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Our last anecdote is completely comprised from notes acquired by an acquaintance – a former private investigator that shall go unnamed. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">A private investigator makes for a valuable friend and an even more valuable storyteller - he is retired and most of the concerned parties are long since dead, the names and specific locations removed. </span></span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/53/Turning_the_Mind_Inside_Out_Saturday_Evening_Post_24_May_1941_a_detail_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/53/Turning_the_Mind_Inside_Out_Saturday_Evening_Post_24_May_1941_a_detail_1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Figure 6.1 - <span style="background-color: black;">____</span> <span style="background-color: black;">______</span> Mental Hospital staff examine the x-ray of a diseased brain</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">This was his strangest case, and he even provided a rather charming picture I think we all will enjoy.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">*** </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />The Tickler<br /><br /><br />February 13, <span style="background-color: black;">____ </span><br /><br />Client, N. <span style="background-color: black;">_____</span>, is 65 year old female, believes her mother is being abused in <span style="background-color: black;">_____</span> <span style="background-color: black;">_____</span> Rest Home in <span style="background-color: black;">___________</span>, <span style="background-color: black;">_______</span>. The mother, C. <span style="background-color: black;">_____</span>, is 92 years old.<br /><br />Wounds, lesions are consistent with active abuse, not neglect. Bruises and broken skin indicate physical attack. Making telephone inquiry at <span style="background-color: black;">_____</span> <span style="background-color: black;">_____</span> Rest Home.<br /><br /><br />February 14, <span style="background-color: black;">____</span><br /><br /><span style="background-color: black;">_____</span> <span style="background-color: black;">_____</span> rest home denies neglect, cleared by <span style="background-color: black;">___________</span> Police Department; three calls already by concerned relatives; further action and inquiry determined no wrongdoing on part of employees or staff<br /><br /><br />February 17, <span style="background-color: black;">____</span><br /><br />Visit <span style="background-color: black;">_____</span> <span style="background-color: black;">_____</span> rest home. Staff not willing to interview, interview patients C. <span style="background-color: black;">______</span>, J. <span style="background-color: black;">______</span>, & client’s mother C. <span style="background-color: black;">_____</span>.<br /><br />C. <span style="background-color: black;">______</span>, male, 85, reports no wrongdoing on part of staff and no abuse.<br /><br />J. <span style="background-color: black;">______</span>, female, 90, reports a man entering her room at night, white male with 13 fingers. dementia possible, also non-employee intruder<br /><br />C. <span style="background-color: black;">_____</span>, female, 92, reports white male intruder, roughly tickling and touching her body at night. Non-employee intruder likely, will inform <span style="background-color: black;">_____</span> <span style="background-color: black;">_____</span> nursing home and client N. <span style="background-color: black;">_____</span>.<br /><br />Matter for <span style="background-color: black;">___________</span> Police Department. Bill client $<span style="background-color: black;">___</span>.29.<br /><br /><br />March 8th, <span style="background-color: black;">____</span><br /><br />Contacted by former client N. <span style="background-color: black;">_____</span>. Abuse continues at <span style="background-color: black;">_____</span> <span style="background-color: black;">_____</span> nursing home, no sign of non-employee intruder. Further inquiry necessary</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /><br />March 20th, <span style="background-color: black;">____</span><br /><br />Active surveillance of location, no sign of non-employee perp. Abuse continues. Mass hysteria likely. A fifth of rye receipt from Rodeo Clown Liquor, bill client $<span style="background-color: black;">__</span>.99 for expenditure.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /><br />March 21st, <span style="background-color: black;">____</span><br />Interview M. <span style="background-color: black;">______</span>, 78, male<br /><br /> H. <span style="background-color: black;">_______</span>, 93, female<br /><br /> D. <span style="background-color: black;">________</span>, 27, female, employee<br /><br />M. <span style="background-color: black;">______</span>, 78, reports abuse from white male visitor at night, non-staff, tickles roughly. Perp now known as “the tickler” amongst staff and patients<br /><br />H. <span style="background-color: black;">_______</span>, 93, reports abuse nightly from white male, non-staff, that tickles roughly. Hysteria spreading<br /><br />D. <span style="background-color: black;">________</span>, 27, employee nurse, has seen physical abrasions and bruises, cannot account for it other than self inflicted.<br /><br />“tickler” is mass hysteria, self inflicted condition, patients abusing selves. No patients have or were been quarantined at any time, all “infected” by “tickler hysteria”<br /><br />Informing client, N. <span style="background-color: black;">_____</span>, of tickler hysteria. Client billed for $<span style="background-color: black;">___</span>.98.</span></span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/ec/Illustration_from_The_Defective_Delinquent_and_Insane.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/ec/Illustration_from_The_Defective_Delinquent_and_Insane.jpg" width="247" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Figure 6.2 - An illustration from <i>The Defective Delinquent and Insane</i></span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /><br />April 12, <span style="background-color: black;">____</span><br /><br />Call from previous client, N. <span style="background-color: black;">_____</span> about “tickler hysteria”. Further inquiry at <span style="background-color: black;">_____</span> <span style="background-color: black;">_____</span> rest home.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /><br />April 14, <span style="background-color: black;">____</span><br /><br />Interview D. <span style="background-color: black;">________</span>, 27, female employee<br /><br /> J. <span style="background-color: black;">_________</span>, 92, female, client mother<br /><br /> F. <span style="background-color: black;">_________</span>, 84 female<br /><br />D. <span style="background-color: black;">________</span>, 27, says patient self abuse worsening, psychological therapy not helping<br /> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">J. <span style="background-color: black;">_________</span>, 92 client mother, still visited nightly by “tickler”, visibly shaken and bruised<br /><br />F. <span style="background-color: black;">_________</span>, 84 abrasions and scuff marks, visible bruises<br /><br />Will inform client N. <span style="background-color: black;">_______</span> of findings, further evidence of tickler hysteria, client billed $<span style="background-color: black;">___</span>.37.<br /> <br /><br />April 15, <span style="background-color: black;">____</span><br /><br />Hallucination/nightmare of a pale man with tentacle-like fingers in my room last night. Research indicates “Sleep paralysis”<br /><br /><br />April 16, <span style="background-color: black;">____</span><br /><br />Visit <span style="background-color: black;">_____</span> <span style="background-color: black;">_____</span> nursing home. Patients becoming unwilling to talk about “Tickler”<br /><br />Interviewed V. <span style="background-color: black;">______</span>, 87. Says “Tickler” is not hysteria but evil spirit<br /><br />Surveillance still failing to show employee/non-employee perp<br /> <br /><br />April 17, <span style="background-color: black;">____</span><br /><br />Awoke repeatedly throughout night with rough “tickling” sensation. Scheduling an appt. with a Dr. <span style="background-color: black;">___</span> <span style="background-color: black;">______</span><br /><br /><br />April 19, <span style="background-color: black;">____</span><br /><br />Seem to be infected by “tickler hysteria”, visited again by white male hallucination at night that attacked, tickled roughly. Appt. Dr. <span style="background-color: black;">___</span> <span style="background-color: black;">______</span> at 12:30 pm tomorrow. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /><br />April 20, <span style="background-color: black;">____</span><br /><br />Confirmed “sleep paralysis”. “tickler” visited again last night, leaving visible bruises. Infected. Billed $<span style="background-color: black;">_</span>,<span style="background-color: black;">___</span>.39.<br /><br /><br />April 24th, <span style="background-color: black;">____</span><br />White male hallucination, visiting nightly, I am now sleeping with loaded 12ga. do not seem to be self inflicting own bruises/wounds. Leaving flour around bed at night w/o footprints</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /><br />April 25th, <span style="background-color: black;">____</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />Visited <span style="background-color: black;">_____</span> <span style="background-color: black;">_____</span> nursing home. Interview<br /><br /> D. <span style="background-color: black;">________</span>, 27 female employee<br /><br /> J. <span style="background-color: black;">_______</span>, 92, former client mother<br /><br /> And drove to different nursing home, <span style="background-color: black;">______</span> <span style="background-color: black;">_____</span><br /><br /> K. <span style="background-color: black;">_______</span>, 87 female<br /><br />D. <span style="background-color: black;">________</span>, 27 now experiencing “Tickler” hysteria, visited nightly by rough tickling man<br /><br />J. <span style="background-color: black;">_______</span>, 92, still tickled nightly by “Tickler”<br /><br />K. <span style="background-color: black;">________</span>, 87, patient of <span style="background-color: black;">______</span> <span style="background-color: black;">_____</span> nursing home, “Tickler is spreading, common link indicated by D. <span style="background-color: black;">________</span> who told fellow nurse of “tickler”)<br /><br /><br />April 26th, <span style="background-color: black;">____</span><br /><br />no signs of forced entry in spite of nightly harassment. Have been prescribed the antipsychotic medication <span style="background-color: black;">_________</span>. Billed $<span style="background-color: black;">___</span>.72.<br /><br /><br />April 28th, <span style="background-color: black;">_____</span><br /><br />Interviewed V. <span style="background-color: black;">________</span>, 88. Says “Tickler” is not hysteria but a “lulu” that first visited her as a child after her mother died and her alcoholic father quit leaving a hallway light on at night<br /><br /><br />May 4th, <span style="background-color: black;">____</span><br /><br />Seeking help, receiving art therapy at <span style="background-color: black;">____</span> <span style="background-color: black;">______</span> Mental Hospital for “paranoid psychosis”. Tickler visits every night. “Tickler” is infectious, spreads by word of mouth. Documents and images of “tickler” should be destroyed</span></span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxxEhg98bUA0R2znV4AOXeQJgQlxEuSoBLI3Adoyk52a01gO3oDSTrovN1Rm5k67y4D_mggh0PnTIgK41oSkS4Nhromjc0b_fUupnYX_opcreo5uSgKRDQqUeq49LQXrbVkPBt8cavg6oN/s1600/the+tickler.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxxEhg98bUA0R2znV4AOXeQJgQlxEuSoBLI3Adoyk52a01gO3oDSTrovN1Rm5k67y4D_mggh0PnTIgK41oSkS4Nhromjc0b_fUupnYX_opcreo5uSgKRDQqUeq49LQXrbVkPBt8cavg6oN/s1600/the+tickler.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Figure 6.3 - Unfortunately, at the present time he has only supplied this grainy cell phone picture of his artwork for "The Tickler". A full scan should be forthcoming.</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /><br />June 16, <span style="background-color: black;">____</span><br /><br />Prescribed heavier doses of <span style="background-color: black;">_________ </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />October 22, <span style="background-color: black;">____</span><br /><br /><span style="background-color: black;">_______________________________________________</span><br /> <br /><br />December 25, <span style="background-color: black;">____</span><br /><br />Christmas time and he says if bed bugs like to bite then he likes to tickle and likes to fright </span></span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvpvXwaJgRnin45HM45ImXy1PdDeyYFTBSHSspNT94kZBJcH-i1SUlmsk0ZiboAnHhd0xPCt1c-tfGWsrFcpAYKi0XsZfFBlnCp_xULKfK2giupXAIU34am8lfaN4dFINzZdkcHcW1vGYZ/s1600/tickler2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvpvXwaJgRnin45HM45ImXy1PdDeyYFTBSHSspNT94kZBJcH-i1SUlmsk0ZiboAnHhd0xPCt1c-tfGWsrFcpAYKi0XsZfFBlnCp_xULKfK2giupXAIU34am8lfaN4dFINzZdkcHcW1vGYZ/s320/tickler2.jpg" width="243" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Figure 6.4 - An enlarged version of the original cell phone picture</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /><br />***</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />And there you have it. A rather interesting tale of mass hysteria and insanity, and our friend the private investigator has been to some extent mad for some number of years ever since his Tickler encounter and subsequent release from a group home for paranoid schizophrenics. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />He was and is an eccentric and tormented figure, a middle-aged diabetic now managing a certain all night fast food chain location - he refuses to work anything other than the night shift and refuses to sleep anytime other than between sunrise and sunset. A sad sort of character, but I myself have been plagued by some rather unusual nightmares lately...</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8071902743945938328.post-53978143640408048112013-10-24T15:03:00.000-05:002013-10-24T15:03:54.503-05:00The Meat Addict<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/68/PumpkinheadsHeaven1901.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/68/PumpkinheadsHeaven1901.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> The
subject of this particular case has been receiving a new form of treatment - culinary
therapy. He is watchfully observed in a carefully monitored kitchen, set up as
to not be too intrusive or frightening, and he is aided by our charming
orderlies who do most of the cooking, and certainly all of the chopping and cutting…</span></span></span><br />
<br />
</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/21/Maats_Beer_Yaakov_Asylum_Kitchen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="205" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/21/Maats_Beer_Yaakov_Asylum_Kitchen.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Figure 5.1 - <span style="background-color: black;">____</span> <span style="background-color: black;">_____</span> Hospital's culinary therapy kitchen</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">However, he
has made progress, and with help has been preparing all manner of pies and
cakes and cookies. Italian cuisine? Not yet, but he hopes with the right dosage
of psychiatric medication and therapeutic exposure that he’ll once again be
able eat or cook the occasional lasagna or plate of spaghetti. Pizza? May be
too soon to tell…</span></span></span><br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYgF_QMgBN2a0oiwXqGg0t4hm4ylUvjQhvDUDlWfSf2O-ZradcF3Ks_8jvt9ZdeLWlTXpVre1bvGoJSG_hXa-IeHg1-fxPLvz0vaYbXPMw9iENe_PEb7vHo2cijzCPqDbi_JbNyFH-VJWc/s1600/giuseppe_logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYgF_QMgBN2a0oiwXqGg0t4hm4ylUvjQhvDUDlWfSf2O-ZradcF3Ks_8jvt9ZdeLWlTXpVre1bvGoJSG_hXa-IeHg1-fxPLvz0vaYbXPMw9iENe_PEb7vHo2cijzCPqDbi_JbNyFH-VJWc/s320/giuseppe_logo.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Figure 5.2 - The logo for <i>Giuseppe's Pizza Pies</i></span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><span style="line-height: 115%;">The Meat
Addict</span></b></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><span style="line-height: 200%;"> </span></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><span style="line-height: 200%;"> </span></b><span style="line-height: 200%;">Enter two ghouls, a host of missing
stoolpigeons and a pizza parlor. A pizza parlor whose specialty was a meaty,
gristly and greasy monstrosity called the <i>Meat
Addict. </i>A thick crusted pizza topped with pepperoni, salami, meatballs,
Polish sausage, hamburger, chorizo, prosciutto, bacon as well as Canadian bacon
(so as to not neglect our friends to the north), anchovies and a special house
mortadella sausage.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-top: 12pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> Human corpses can be such a nuisance for
those in that profession – that particular sort of life, which is to say, the
unglamorous lower rung of errand boys, psychopaths, disposable gofers and
lowlifes who do the lion’s share of dirty work for the mob. Not made members
certainly – just the wannabes, the non-Sicilians, the petty thieves and glorified
serial killers who inhabit a shadowy netherworld rampant with chaos and murder. </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-top: 12pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> Disposing of a corpse, or corpses, is a
rather gruesome task - methods range from decapitation to cremation to
submersion in a body of water (just remember to puncture the lungs and stomach
lest your victim float). Our ghouls preferred a gastronomic approach – cheerfully
grinding up their victims and adding them to the house mortadella sausage.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/ba/Pizza_DE3.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="312" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/ba/Pizza_DE3.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Figure 5.3 - Another example of highly sought after "murderabilia", a pizza box allegedly from <i>Giuseppe's Pizza Pies</i></span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> This was the narrative given to me by the stepson
of a union organizer in a Brooklyn working class neighborhood well known for
both its pizza and its organized crime. I can say our story as it was told does
not end well for our would-be chefs – as soon as their horrified employers
found out about their special ingredient the duo were promptly ordered to be
killed and swiftly disappeared. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> As to where they are or are not today is
anyone’s guess. Likely rubbed out, murdered just as the people they themselves
murdered. Another possibility is that they simply fled – working at a sleepy,
unsuspecting pizza parlor in some sleepy, unsuspecting town or city such as
your own. Please, do enjoy your next pizza pie.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/fd/Yum!_(3910208124).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="307" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/fd/Yum!_(3910208124).jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Figure 5.4 - A pizza pie not unlike the notorious "<i>Meat Addict"</i></span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">***</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-top: 12pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> A rather traumatic experience for the poor
stepson of the story – oh, I did neglect to mention that he pumped many a
greasy quarter into <i>Space Violators II </i>and
<i>Polybius </i>at <i>Giuseppe’s</i> game room, and was an avid enthusiast of the <i>Meat Addict</i>, especially its mortadella
sausage, until its special ingredient was revealed. A minor tragedy, and yet a
menu, which allegedly came from the alleged establishment, does make me hungry… </span></span></span><br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaEYl7vXi4W1LJc6Sc8TvAfQWM1_nK7EhyphenhyphenPaPbMNRk4TIKo83R-jGiB4NRAQBx5-8A2ukgC1TV1JxuwVLN_EGu6TVFe4_tPpu_K6BvXj7aa5OZOamSEpRjYhLf2PGR2cL4xtcQDcgMkl1A/s1600/the+meat+addict.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="288" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaEYl7vXi4W1LJc6Sc8TvAfQWM1_nK7EhyphenhyphenPaPbMNRk4TIKo83R-jGiB4NRAQBx5-8A2ukgC1TV1JxuwVLN_EGu6TVFe4_tPpu_K6BvXj7aa5OZOamSEpRjYhLf2PGR2cL4xtcQDcgMkl1A/s320/the+meat+addict.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Figure 5.5 - A menu for Giuseppe's Pizza Pies</span></span></td></tr>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8071902743945938328.post-59047298454672706582013-10-17T17:36:00.001-05:002013-10-17T17:36:34.149-05:00The Bell County Incident<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kerli/default/vintage-halloween--large-msg-135120742998.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kerli/default/vintage-halloween--large-msg-135120742998.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">Our
psychiatric hospital is not entirely suited to cases of dementia, and I have
little doubt that one patient here pushing nearly 100 years old is suffering
from some mental ailment associated with his advanced years. Surely his
anecdotes are the product of a sickness, but I will admit that his story is
corroborated by another tale I was able to piece together from several
folklorists in rural Appalachia.</span></span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/35/Turning_the_Mind_Inside_Out_Saturday_Evening_Post_24_May_1941_a_detail_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/35/Turning_the_Mind_Inside_Out_Saturday_Evening_Post_24_May_1941_a_detail_2.jpg" width="231" /></a></span></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Figure 4.1 - Former <span style="background-color: black;">____</span> <span style="background-color: black;">______</span> Mental Hospital staff prepare for a patient autopsy, 1951. </span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><span style="line-height: 200%;">The Bell
County Incident</span></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> Far
back in a holler, in the shadows of a mountain shunned even by the Indians
before the arrival of the white man, lived a pair of brothers, bachelors and
crotchety old bastards named Eber and Shem. One long and lean, the other short
and fat, the brothers both had stringy hair and long beards and piercing eyes
but something other than their unkempt appearance frightened the locals.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> There
were the rumors, for sure. Of slaughtered livestock in those hills, and of
blood-curdling howls under the harvest moon. And then there were the whispers – two
Godless old bachelors are sure to attract attention anywhere – but most folks
respected Eber and Shem on some strange level. There seemed to be a mutual understanding
that the occasional calf or mare found butchered was preferable to a murdered child.</span></span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/de/Sheriff_dumps_bootleg_booze.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/de/Sheriff_dumps_bootleg_booze.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Figure 4.2 - Revenuers dump illegal hooch circa 1925</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> Apart
from their trips to town they likely would have been forgotten altogether if
the brothers hadn’t made the finest mountain dew this side of the Cumberland
Gap. This was shortly after the repeal of the Volstead Act but a quality jug of
moonshine was still worth its weight in gold. Plenty of folks made the trip
back to Eber and Shem’s holler for a bottle of hooch – but none visited after
dark and sure as hell never made the trip on a full moon. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> That’s not to say
there wasn’t drinking on full moons in Bell County – there was more than most,
but it wasn’t the joyous, sociable kind of drinking. It was more a lock the
livestock in the barn, bar the doors and clutch your shotgun sort of drinking.</span></span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/54/Confiscated_moonshine_still_photographed_by_Internal_Revenue_Bureau_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/54/Confiscated_moonshine_still_photographed_by_Internal_Revenue_Bureau_.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Figure 4.3 - Another unsolicited visit from a "revenuer"</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> And
then there were the revenuers. Drink wasn’t illegal, but it was if you sold it
without cutting in Uncle Sam with taxes. The federal boys started sniffing
around the county – Eber and Shem had a minor local notoriety as local
eccentrics and probable lycanthropes but had amassed a considerable degree of genuine
fame as bootleggers not only in the state but surrounding states.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> Now
everyone around feared Eber and Shem, but everyone also resented the creeping federal
influence into the mountains. I don’t think it was a coincidence that the
college boys were finally tipped off about the whereabouts of Eber and Shem during
a full moon that October of 1934. What exactly happened that night whenever the
Ford full of G-men, accompanied with one of the most prominent revenuers in the
state, pulled up to Eber and Shem’s place is still anyone’s guess.</span></span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6c/Moonshining_-_Kentucky_-_Revenue_Man_-_Project_Gutenberg_13181.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="252" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6c/Moonshining_-_Kentucky_-_Revenue_Man_-_Project_Gutenberg_13181.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Figure 4.4 - The revenuers strike again</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> Some
say two survived out of eight men – and that of the two survivors, one died not
long afterward from his wounds. The other ended his career as a revenue man and was scarred for life. No one knows who tipped off the feds, but no doubt many
in the county wouldn’t have minded for the werewolves and the revenuers to both
be gone for good.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> At
least partially, that did hold to be true - Eber and Shem disappeared and were
never seen again.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">***</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> Having
been told the various versions of the story (and my own version is a
composite), one of the only consistencies was of a sole survivor, badly
injured, who never again worked as a revenuer. And in our patient I couldn’t
help but notice the tell-tale old scars on his left cheek – perhaps claws,
perhaps something else. His own tale is rather disjointed, a loose collection of waking nightmares involving those “damned
whiskey boys”.</span></span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtOimDaefVfSFpfq-rYNVg33InAJzh53JcI0edW3brrHuHnlX-YRtzM8f5p2QCq-8BO0cexHpSVO2GTv9kAWVYLcTbavMbePo_gKZbKJIAmH_ZL5VLO7dV3oETIizDpjvtfeod5cTxMfft/s1600/bell.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtOimDaefVfSFpfq-rYNVg33InAJzh53JcI0edW3brrHuHnlX-YRtzM8f5p2QCq-8BO0cexHpSVO2GTv9kAWVYLcTbavMbePo_gKZbKJIAmH_ZL5VLO7dV3oETIizDpjvtfeod5cTxMfft/s320/bell.jpg" width="239" /></a></span></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Figure 4.5 - The surviving revenuer, who was said to take on unusual physical characteristics after the infamous Bell County Raid, in 1937</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> We are currently not best suited to fit his needs - every full moon he experiences a temporary psychosis and wanders away from our facility, necessitating a Silver Alert nearly every month. There is
a quaint little rest home, not far from here, which I think will be far more
appropriate. It has admittedly not been without its own incidents in the past
but I think it’ll be suitable place for our retired revenuer.</span></span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/25/Male_Nurses-_Life_at_Runwell_Hospital,_Wickford,_Essex,_1943_D14313.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/25/Male_Nurses-_Life_at_Runwell_Hospital,_Wickford,_Essex,_1943_D14313.jpg" width="302" /></a></span></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Figure 4.6 - A former orderly of <span style="background-color: black;">____</span> <span style="background-color: black;">______</span> prepares a light afternoon snack for one of the many guests</span></span></td></tr>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8071902743945938328.post-89027906513045581042013-10-11T10:45:00.000-05:002013-10-11T11:08:45.478-05:00Night of the Lunkheads<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3XDFZn8VoDCIj3O3RJozbl1OtrYc9uC8h3NpF0GjH3tMNNLr6rcI83JAKkX2rZWutpqObkBHTMR7G_r2-DqA1ix_VVnkXDi7UhYwyXIfCnKt8UFNTsIRCmJIY7DAquuI1sis5LqU85u9F/s1600/tumblr_l8cesaEmZD1qdb4y1o1_400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3XDFZn8VoDCIj3O3RJozbl1OtrYc9uC8h3NpF0GjH3tMNNLr6rcI83JAKkX2rZWutpqObkBHTMR7G_r2-DqA1ix_VVnkXDi7UhYwyXIfCnKt8UFNTsIRCmJIY7DAquuI1sis5LqU85u9F/s320/tumblr_l8cesaEmZD1qdb4y1o1_400.jpg" width="194" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> This
subject is now well into his 40’s – a chubby, balding pathetic thing who spends
most of his days and all of his nights whimpering in the corner of his padded
cell about the “Lunkheads” peeking into his barred window.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> Here is a
local newspaper article detailing the quite sad and cheerless history of poor
little Mr. Billy Robert Tilly. As with our other cases some of the names of victims have been changed or omitted.</span></span></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/3c/ARTICHOKULTRADRAFT111.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/3c/ARTICHOKULTRADRAFT111.jpg" width="252" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Figure 3.1 - Document detailing some of the past experiments involving <span style="background-color: black;">____</span> <span style="background-color: black;">______</span> Mental Hospital and its staff</span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="line-height: 200%;">Night
of the Lunkheads</span></b></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="line-height: 200%;">The Weller
Register</span></i><span style="line-height: 200%;">, October 28th, 1991</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">Babs Saunders, associate reporter</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> Let’s
be honest folks, summers here have always hot and humid and miserable! Our
children have never seemed to mind too much, I remember how the Baker boys,
Julie Scott and her sisters and other kids from Central used to raise Cain up
and down the black top road stretching from the municipal park to Elsberry
Creek. That stretch of Copley Road back then was overgrown and rugged but still dotted by a few gas stations and the high
school baseball field (go Tigers!). This was long before the convenience and
ease of open-air shopping malls and <i>MONDO-Mart</i> centers – back whenever we were
just another little hick town, and not the booming and charming bedroom
community of today.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> Back
then once you went past Elsberry Creek the road got rougher, the terrain
hairier. The trees got taller and more gnarled, the only signs of human life
the occasional beaten up farmhouse well off the road. A lonely two lane jaunt
of a few miles until you hit the bridge going over the interstate. Back then
that part of Copley Road wasn’t shunned, but nobody went out of their way to
travel it either (I know I sure didn’t!).</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> The
kids never did – there was something scary and gloomy about the way the
branches of trees knotted over Copley Road. There had always been the rumors –
a lot of silliness about “Lunkheads” - shy, ghoulish creatures said to have big
black eyes (BOO!).</span></span></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/66/Hydrocephalic_skeleton.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/66/Hydrocephalic_skeleton.jpg" width="228" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Figure 3.2 - An example of hydrocephalus, frequently cited as a rational explanation to the "Lunkhead" phenomena</span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> No,
but seriously, after the three children went missing that winter in 1979, their
bodies later found not far from the interstate in the woods near Copley and
Stratton Road, there were the whispers from the older folks. I have always said
there is a time and place for ghost stories, and a time and place for grown-up
ghost stories. Unfortunately, one of our wonderful children at the time had
trouble differentiating between the two.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> I’m
showing my age but I clearly remember that spring we heard about the brand new
interstate exit to Weller – and talk of the rising property values, new jobs
and businesses that were sure to follow. In fact it only took a few months for
the signs of life to start showing down Copley Road – but imagine my horror as
a loving mother and parent at the announcement of a new video arcade parlor, Dualtron, to be built at the exit. This is the original text for a Dualtron advertisement which popped up in
a March, 1981 edition of the <i>Weller
Register</i>:</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzKBsGKS-F8qwbCBWwC_myRaT65zIKkyULcbdXn2fg6MGHBd92kuzuZS7n5pAevznWZrbKoFpW7SXxlh4yN7A9gEtZpVYQtyG536M1XhkMamkCLZLF032nPbqd6nF071y3BZqu7ZwJjpDh/s1600/polybius.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzKBsGKS-F8qwbCBWwC_myRaT65zIKkyULcbdXn2fg6MGHBd92kuzuZS7n5pAevznWZrbKoFpW7SXxlh4yN7A9gEtZpVYQtyG536M1XhkMamkCLZLF032nPbqd6nF071y3BZqu7ZwJjpDh/s320/polybius.jpg" width="267" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Figure 3.3 - An artist's interpretation of Polybius, a game allegedly housed at the <i>Dualtron </i>at the time of the infamous "Night of the Lunkheads"</span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="line-height: 200%;">Apocalypse
A.D. - Venture back into the long abandoned cities to rescue your family from
the humanoid plague. With brand new Periscope Viewfinder!</span></i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="line-height: 200%;">Lords of
Carnage III - The Lords have returned to wreck vengeance on the Nuclear Church!
Both one and two player mode!</span></i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="line-height: 200%;">The Golden
Triangle - Can you move the small white circles out of the large yellow
triangle?</span></i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="line-height: 200%;">Soviet
Death Force - Escape the Iron Curtain and evade the Soviet Death Force!</span></i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="line-height: 200%;">Polybius –
Can you destroy all the spinning polygons and triangles and find your way out
of the maze? </span></i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="line-height: 200%;">Giallo
Murder Mystery IV - The police and killer are looking for you. Can you solve
the Giallo Murder Mystery IV?</span></i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="line-height: 200%;">Space
Violators II - The space violators are returning to Earth, do you have what it
takes to defeat them?</span></i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="line-height: 200%;">Pinball
Machines! Hockey Enforcer II, Beach Babe Patrol, Driller Killer, Canadian
Mounty, Frankenstein’s Castle</span></i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> Violators.
Plague. Murder. Death. Carnage. Destroy. And, of course, beach babes and
driller killers! These are the sorts of values being instilled in our children?
I do know one thing. Our little ones
never travelled past Elsberry Creek until then – I’ll never forget how I felt
the first time I saw those tikes riding bicycles up and down that abandoned
three mile stretch of Copley Road to reach the interstate and the Dualtron Arcade. </span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> And
then there was the <i>Night of the Lunkheads</i>,
as it came to be known later on during the trial of Billy Tilly in the gruesome
murders of four other children that attended Central. For those of you who
missed all the news stories following the July murders in 1982 (covered
throughout the tri-state area), Carol Petersen, Patrick Brooks, Glenn Newbury
and Joyce Harris (all little angels from Central) were found mangled and
mutilated in the woods near Copley Road. William Tilly was found nearby covered
with blood and muttering about the “Lunkheads”.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> </span></span></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/90/Arcade_Video_Game.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/90/Arcade_Video_Game.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Figure 3.4 - An arcade video machine salvaged from the <i>Dualtron </i>arcade. Could this have inspired Billy Tilly to commit mass murder?</span></span><br />
<br />
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> I knew William
Tilly as an adorable little cherub with rosy cheeks and a heart of gold. He
played fourth grade baseball and basketball for Central, and regularly attended
my church with his family. What could have gone so wrong? Due to the grisly and
horrific nature of the crimes, Tilly was prosecuted as an adult. A transcript
of his testimony, as recorded by the court stenographer on January 26<sup>th</sup>,
1983:</span><b><span style="line-height: 200%;"> </span></b></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="line-height: 200%;"> Cross Examination of William R. Tilly</span></b></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">Let the record reflect the presence
of the jury at 1:03 p.m.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: 2in; text-indent: -2in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">THE
CLERK: Please Mr. Tilly state your
name for the record.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">MR. TILLY: William Robert Tilly</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">THE CLERK: Thank you Mr. Tilly.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">CROSS
EXAMINATION</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: 1.5in; text-indent: -1.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">MR.
HEWITT: On the night in question, July
22, 1981, you indicated that you left the Dualtron Arcade with Misses Petersen
and Harris and Misters Brooks and Newbury?</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">A I
did.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">Q Yes
or no will do, son.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">A Yes.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: 1.5in; text-indent: -1.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">Q And you claimed that this was
approximately ten o’clock at night, and you had stayed out past curfew?</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">A Yes.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: 1.5in; text-indent: -1.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">Q You claim that near the
intersection of Oldfield Road and Copley Road, you and the victims left your
bicycles and went into the woods?</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: 1.5in; text-indent: -1.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">A Yes.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: 1.5in; text-indent: -1.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">Q You claimed that this was the
“Night of the Lunkheads” (some laughter in courtroom). Mr. Tilly, what do you
purport a “Lunkhead” to be?</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: 1.5in; text-indent: -1.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">A We just saw eyes, I mean, there
were dark eyes staring at us from the woods. I never believed the stories
either, they were, there were about seven or eight of them.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: 1.5in; text-indent: -1.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">Q The Lunkheads? Mr. Tilly, you are
not answering my question.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: 1.5in; text-indent: -1.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">A The Lunkheads, are, or well, were
short, with pale skin and big black eyes and big heads. They were, they appeared
to be not human.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: 1.5in; text-indent: -1.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">Q Mr. Tilly, what happened to your
friends that night?</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: 1.5in; text-indent: -1.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">A They were attacked, well, killed by
the Lunkheads. As soon as we stopped our bikes more came from behind us, we
tried, well, we did run into the woods but there were more of them. They’re
still, I mean, they’re still in those woods.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: 1.5in; text-indent: -1.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">Q Who are still in those woods, Mr.
Tilly?</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: 1.5in; text-indent: -1.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">A The Lunkheads.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: 1.5in; text-indent: -1.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">Q I am finished with my cross
examination.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: 1.5in; text-indent: -1.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">***</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> I’ve
always been a big fan of the latest high profile trials (mostly murders but
I’ll settle for a good robbery or rape if need be) and I followed the Billy
Tilly trial like a hawk. I really thought at first an outsider (of Weller,
certainly not an outsider of this dimension or planet!) had attacked and killed
those poor children. As the trial went on for a couple months I had to admit to
myself the God honest truth - poor little Billy Tilly was a murderer.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> The
court ultimately decided that Tilly was not guilty by reason of insanity, and
that at the time of the murders, Mr. Tilly “did not possess a state of mind
conducive to understanding the nature and impact of his actions due to repeated
exposure to video arcade machines”.</span></span></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRdvQHxkpUdb5wBkNW_7azLmtpu2l0hUu8W9NYbNKx6Rm-aaLr_tWSiLWcnNGjOuPQXKz1wkemIRji3MAh-wSw8jPlNAVCKHPoAm811mnql1BtuJXY4-tiotLSGW4-VxdujhQQjoxs2-Vy/s1600/oldfield+road2.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRdvQHxkpUdb5wBkNW_7azLmtpu2l0hUu8W9NYbNKx6Rm-aaLr_tWSiLWcnNGjOuPQXKz1wkemIRji3MAh-wSw8jPlNAVCKHPoAm811mnql1BtuJXY4-tiotLSGW4-VxdujhQQjoxs2-Vy/s320/oldfield+road2.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Figure 3.5
- An amusing recent puzzle take-off on the "Lunkheads" phenomena. Can
you find the six "Lunkheads" hiding in this picture? Bonus: Can you find
the "S" graffiti on the tree?</span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> And
oh boy, were we Wellerites not happy about that! The decision was so
controversial that Tilly was committed to an undisclosed mental asylum, the
name of which has still not been released to area newspapers. William Tilly
(now in his early 20’s) will be released whenever mental health experts deem
him to no longer be a threat to society.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> It’s
been nearly a decade now – the Dualtron has long since closed, Tilly is still
committed, and the children still ride their bicycles up and down Copley Road -
but not past Elsberry Creek. That’s all changing soon – the woods up and down Copley
Road are being bulldozed for the Pine Springs Shopping Plaza, Twin Oaks
Minimall, a <i>MONDO-Mart</i> Center, a <i>Giuseppe’s
Pizza Pie</i> franchise location and several housing subdivisions.</span></span></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/dd/Atari_Firefox.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/dd/Atari_Firefox.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Figure 3.6 - Several of the video arcade machines from <i>Dualtron</i> said to have inspired the Billy Tilly murders have become popular and highly sought-after pieces of "murderabilia"</span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> The
husband and yours truly are enjoying our new home on that once spooky, scary section
of Copley Road (BOO!). It’s nice to see the folks of Weller put the past behind
us, even as my youngest darling, precocious child complains that the Lunkheads
are looking into her window every night!</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">***</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> A
rather tragic ending for poor little Mr. Billy Robert Tilly. He remains in our
care, and he always will. As for the notorious Weller child murders? Several
“copycats” of Mr. Tilly have murdered nine more children in a similar fashion
since this article by Mrs. Saunders was published as a local piece for
Halloween in 1991.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">As for the
Lunkheads just remember to check outside your house tonight before you go to
sleep for any short, pale creatures with huge heads and big, black eyes (BOO!).</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/1c/H._H._Richardson_Complex,_Buffalo,_NY_-_116447pu.tiff/lossy-page1-800px-H._H._Richardson_Complex,_Buffalo,_NY_-_116447pu.tiff.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="233" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/1c/H._H._Richardson_Complex,_Buffalo,_NY_-_116447pu.tiff/lossy-page1-800px-H._H._Richardson_Complex,_Buffalo,_NY_-_116447pu.tiff.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Figure 3.7 - Up the stairs and to the right for the <span style="background-color: black;">____</span> <span style="background-color: black;">______</span> Mental Hospital game and rec room. And no, poor little Billy Tilly has never been given access to our video arcade machines...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></span></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8071902743945938328.post-35709458168434293532013-10-09T21:52:00.000-05:002013-11-30T01:00:42.525-06:00Confidence, Polyglotism and Hitler's Missing Testicle - Notes from a Traveler<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6d/%D0%9A%D0%BE%D0%BF%D0%B8%D1%8F_scan0004.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6d/%D0%9A%D0%BE%D0%BF%D0%B8%D1%8F_scan0004.jpg" width="212" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"> In spite of my extensive travels I have made a point of never learning or using the local native language – not even the most basic of introductory greetings. Polyglotism amongst native English speakers is considered, at best, an indication of weakness to the loose officials and corrupt women a Westerner so often encounters in the second and third world…</span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a2/Kremlin.svg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a2/Kremlin.svg" width="286" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">My resident procurer, Sven Svensen of the Stockholm Natural History Museum, is renowned for his expertise in Pre-Columbian death cults and enjoys a certain international infamy for his lucrative business as an exotic provider of mistresses for dictators worldwide. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">As a young man the slender Swede enjoyed some measure of popularity as a rent-boy amongst the higher Nazi echelon but it was his Leningrad tryst with the alleged beard of a Georgian NKVD officer that allowed him to smuggle the Soviets' most prized possession out of a vault from underneath the Kremlin, a well-preserved memento from their Great Patriotic War – Adolf Hitler’s lone testicle…</span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/ab/%D0%9C%D0%B0%D1%80%D0%B8%D0%B0%D0%BD%D0%BD%D0%B0_(%D0%A4%D1%80%D0%B0%D0%BD%D1%86%D0%B8%D1%8F)_%D0%B8_%D0%BC%D0%B5%D0%B4%D0%B2%D0%B5%D0%B4%D1%8C_(%D0%A0%D0%BE%D1%81%D1%81%D0%B8%D1%8F).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/ab/%D0%9C%D0%B0%D1%80%D0%B8%D0%B0%D0%BD%D0%BD%D0%B0_(%D0%A4%D1%80%D0%B0%D0%BD%D1%86%D0%B8%D1%8F)_%D0%B8_%D0%BC%D0%B5%D0%B4%D0%B2%D0%B5%D0%B4%D1%8C_(%D0%A0%D0%BE%D1%81%D1%81%D0%B8%D1%8F).jpg" width="293" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Smut, political cartoon, </span><span style="font-size: small;">failed visual analogy or all (or none) of the above? You be the judge</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">As in polite Western society, abroad I have found that confidence, and arrogantly acting as though you know what you are doing even though you do not, is always effective…</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>Chuck Borgiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08083381301959708304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8071902743945938328.post-27399301469003825852013-10-03T23:32:00.000-05:002013-10-03T23:38:23.320-05:00The Drunk<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="http://jonmwessel.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/halloween-costumes-51.jpg?w=600" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="310" src="http://jonmwessel.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/halloween-costumes-51.jpg?w=600" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><span style="line-height: 200%;"> </span></b><span style="line-height: 200%;">She’s an elderly woman with one
foot in the grave<b>, </b>the other in the
saloon. Regularly in and out of our substance abuse ward, her story goes to
show that some cautionary tales, no matter how horrifying, are simply not
terribly effective to an accomplished addict. This is the story of the drunk. </span></span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/10/Turning_the_Mind_Inside_Out_Saturday_Evening_Post_24_May_1941_b_detail.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/10/Turning_the_Mind_Inside_Out_Saturday_Evening_Post_24_May_1941_b_detail.jpg" width="255" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Figure 2.1 - A charming photograph showing former <span style="background-color: black;">____</span> <span style="background-color: black;">______</span> Mental Hospital staff performing a lobotomy.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><span style="line-height: 115%;">The Drunk</span></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">The woman
and the other two men at the bar that particular night were certified drunks,
and drunks amongst drunks. There are the open mic amateur night drinkers, there
are the weekend warriors, and there are those sad souls in the trenches
drinking alone on any given Tuesday night. And then there are the drunks. These
are the addicts who take their addiction and self destruction to nearly poetic
levels. And this woman and the two men were all drunks.</span></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">The bane of
any addict is the necessary acquisition of more of the addictive substance.
This is the cross to carry for any addict – and for a drunk that means never-ending
trips to gas stations for beer, to liquor stores for booze. And the sizeable
amount of money this eventually requires has driven otherwise reasonable men and women to
humiliation through canned heat, mouthwash, rubbing alcohol, etc.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> They
call them the jitterbugs, the DTs, the creepy crawlies, the pink elephants.
This is the second cross to carry for the addict – withdrawal. Alcohol
withdrawal is the worst drug withdrawal, and the only withdrawal which can actually
kill the addict. And our drunks were out of their addictive substance, and out
of money and on the cusp of the throes of withdrawal. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">Enter the
stranger, maybe a little on the lanky side but handsome. A tall man in a cowboy
hat, a cowboy with a charming manner and more than enough money to spare for a round
of beers, two rounds of beer. And another round of beer and shots of whiskey
for good measure. As the beer and whiskey flowed and delight and delirium
overtook the woman, she was more than happy to take up the cowboy on his
invitation to dance. And they danced. Several songs, each faster and more uptempo
than the last. Another few beers and another few shots and more dancing, so
fast and dizzying that she felt she may nearly collapse.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">And then
the joy of alcoholic stupor gave way to something quite disturbing as she
noticed the stranger did not possess feet, but hooves. This, of course, is the
point at which she had her moment of clarity, abandoned the party and promised
to never touch a drop again. Her friends were not quite so fortunate. Joining
the cowboy for a trip down 16 to <i>Rodeo Clown Liquor</i>, they were killed in a
vehicle head-on collision. Two mangled corpses were pulled from the wreckage
but the cowboy’s body was never found, and he was never seen again.</span></span></span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuEVReMfjSB4dqueBF_mhK2VcoYeD-HAhDVVhmFuD82FSMsiZjvCrCkDND_vuanZft4qRYzVidP-eJEAgfvZwlcHDtndV9mD163SyADYPy4-cksOakt1F03S3RftuSBVPrrWevy1VnRvsH/s1600/logo+cowboy2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuEVReMfjSB4dqueBF_mhK2VcoYeD-HAhDVVhmFuD82FSMsiZjvCrCkDND_vuanZft4qRYzVidP-eJEAgfvZwlcHDtndV9mD163SyADYPy4-cksOakt1F03S3RftuSBVPrrWevy1VnRvsH/s320/logo+cowboy2.jpg" width="298" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Figure 2.2 - A quaint inset from a larger vintage color magazine advertisement for a long defunct local liquor store, <i>Rodeo Clown Liquor</i></span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">***</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> And
our heroine stayed true to her word, and stayed sober? No. She is still a
drunk, and drinks daily to this day. From a long line of drinkers, she’s said
to prefer a certain variety of Appalachian moonshine that’ll make you howl at
the moon. As for the effectiveness of this cautionary tale? I’ve already killed
a six pack of beer from <i>MONDO-Mart</i> as I’ve typed it.</span></span></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/2a/Queensland_State_Archives_2425_View_of_Benevolent_Asylum_Dunwich_North_Stradbroke_Island_10_June_1937.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/2a/Queensland_State_Archives_2425_View_of_Benevolent_Asylum_Dunwich_North_Stradbroke_Island_10_June_1937.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Figure 2.3 - A residence hall of <span style="background-color: black;">____</span> <span style="background-color: black;">______</span> Mental Hospital. Always room for one more...</span></span></td></tr>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8071902743945938328.post-20536351503059311082013-10-01T23:51:00.000-05:002013-10-01T23:51:35.247-05:00Glade Air Freshener or Blue Moon Beer Variation?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/be/BlueMoon.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/be/BlueMoon.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">In a brief departure from the good doctor's generalized spookiness, a bit of trivia from the hottest new phenomenon overtaking the country - Glade Air Freshener or Blue Moon Beer Variation?</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Can you differentiate a variety of A) Glade Air Freshener from B) a specialized version of <a href="http://www.millercoors.com/" target="_blank">Blue Moon beer</a>? The following twelve, six from each category, have been <a href="http://www.random.org/" target="_blank">randomized</a> with the answer key below.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Pure Vanilla Joy</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Pineapple & Mangosteen</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Spiced Amber</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Agave Nectar </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">Creamy Custard</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">Cashmere Woods</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">Dark Chocolate Bacon</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">Raspberry Cream</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">Orchard Apple Cinnamon</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">Harvest Moon Pumpkin </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Jubilant Rose</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Blackberry Tart</span></span><br />
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<br />
<br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;">Answer Key: </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Pure Vanilla Joy</span></span> - <span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Glade</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;">Pineapple & Mangosteen - Glade</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;">Spiced Amber - Blue Moon</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;">Agave Nectar - Blue Moon</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;">Creamy Custard - Glade</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;">Cashmere Woods - Glade</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;">Dark Chocolate Bacon - Blue Moon</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;">Raspberry Cream - Blue Moon </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;">Orchard Apple Cinnamon - Glade</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;">Harvest Moon Pumpkin - Blue Moon</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;">Jubilant Rose - Glade</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;">Blackberry Tart - Blue Moon</span></span><br />
<br />Chuck Borgiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08083381301959708304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8071902743945938328.post-78859333035226998742013-09-30T17:30:00.000-05:002013-09-30T23:04:48.363-05:00An Introduction<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> Greetings, I am Dr. Frederick von Gastly, a
practicing psychiatrist and physician at the <span style="background-color: black;">____</span> <span style="background-color: black;">______</span> Mental Hospital<span style="color: black;">. I have long been fascinated by
phobias and dread, and amongst our colorful selection of patients I have
isolated the five most disturbing and disquieting cases involving abject terror. </span></span></span></div>
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</span></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/0c/Dexter_asylum.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/0c/Dexter_asylum.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Figure 1.1 - <span style="background-color: black;">____</span> <span style="background-color: black;">______</span> Mental Hospital (currently undergoing renovations)</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;"> I will admit that case studies are not the
best means of research, but unfortunately my own past experiments (much
maligned and misunderstood by my narrow-minded contemporaries) forced me
entirely out of academia altogether, although I was more than happy to accept
the position as Chief of Psychiatry at </span><span style="background-color: black;">____</span> <span style="background-color: black;">______</span>. That being said, each week
this month I will release a new case study along with any available
corroborating evidence.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">Dr. F. von Gastly M.D. PhD.</span></span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f5/We_Welcome_You_-_Loma_Vista_Hospital.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f5/We_Welcome_You_-_Loma_Vista_Hospital.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Figure 1.2 - The entrance to our esteemed Department of Psychiatry</span></td></tr>
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<![endif]-->Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8071902743945938328.post-79617122020569221422013-09-26T18:48:00.001-05:002013-09-30T17:15:39.173-05:00Tales of the Mad and the Macabre<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/eb/No_Hallowe%27en_without_Jack-o%27-Lantern.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/eb/No_Hallowe'en_without_Jack-o'-Lantern.jpg" width="229" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">This October we will introduce a new contributor, one Dr. Frederick von Gastly, a noted psychiatrist who will present five case studies, along with corroborating pictures and evidence, on the nature of phobias and dread.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">His research, subtly titled <i>The Collective Phobias and Horrors of Mental Institition Patients: An Examination into the Lurking Dread and Fear Experienced by the Insane,</i></span></span> <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">will be introduced next Tuesday by the good doctor himself followed by a new case study each Friday, with the final study to be released on Hallowe'en.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>Abstract:</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Dr. Frederick von Gastly </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i>The Collective Phobias and Horrors of Mental Institition Patients: An Examination into the Lurking Dread and Fear Experienced by the Insane</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">This research is comprised of five unique case studies (<i>The Drunk, Night of the Lunkheads, The Bell County Incident, T<span style="background-color: #b45f06;"><span></span></span>he Meat <span style="background-color: #e69138;"><span><span style="background-color: #b45f06;"></span></span></span>Addict, The Tickler)</i> on the lives and phobias of patients at the <span style="background-color: black;">___</span> <span style="background-color: black;">______</span> Mental Hospital.<br /><br />The purpose of this research is in documenting and identifying abject horror. In my studies I have yet to isolate terror into a pure, unadulterated form but hope to contribute to that particular field of research with these case studies. I am confident that with continued research (and funding from some rather interested parties) we will soon discover the nature and causes of phobia. <span style="background-color: white;"></span></span></span><span style="background-color: #e69138;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"></span></span></span><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</xml><![endif]-->Chuck Borgiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08083381301959708304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8071902743945938328.post-51712959848349375222013-09-26T18:17:00.002-05:002013-09-26T18:17:52.011-05:00Chuck Borgia Emporium<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZsSApWaXH7A9xhgC7yvFY7hfQp2lE0uHBhKuQNY62WXrAew99YAAvysRiMpVG2ECiPCelDOJJUeGBv_Jwgz7ddKvqrUIk1VQycTCJKdtTp0D-KSJqr-LXVkmBhS9EwhOyJekJ8PELkDw/s1600/fractal+synthesis.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZsSApWaXH7A9xhgC7yvFY7hfQp2lE0uHBhKuQNY62WXrAew99YAAvysRiMpVG2ECiPCelDOJJUeGBv_Jwgz7ddKvqrUIk1VQycTCJKdtTp0D-KSJqr-LXVkmBhS9EwhOyJekJ8PELkDw/s320/fractal+synthesis.jpg" width="256" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Having more than a passing knowledge of the evils of white slavery, buggery, impressment and the opium trade has more than prepared me for the devious and disreputable <a href="http://470106.spreadshirt.com/" target="_blank">internet t-shirt business</a>.</span></span>Chuck Borgiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08083381301959708304noreply@blogger.com0